According to Wikipedia (when people are in a committed relationship) the definition of cheating is based on both parties' opinions, and both parties may redefine their understanding to match the party at an either lower or higher extreme of this definition. I am not even going to pretend that I understand that. Some may believe it’s an even money bet that a man in every home has at one point in his life cheated on his wife, girlfriend or boyfriend. Gone are the days of mabati tin blueband and lasting marriages. In an article titled ‘LADIES: It’s all your fault that he is CHEATING!’ one Njoki Chege wrote about this topic. You can find it here http://njokichege.wordpress.com/. I can only imagine women reading it going like “WTF WTF WTF”. You see Njoki and I have an arrangement where I criticize her post and she doesn’t know I exist so this is my criticism to hold my end of the agreement. She begins with the question “Why does a man cheat?” and then goes on to advance what the ‘bar heroes’ at my local watering hole call ‘a spurious hypothesis’ that number 1, because the woman is fat. Personally, I love the chub and I know a few men who do too. Not a strong point from the lass.
I don’t know Miss. Chege so it’s obviously not personal but from the blog, she doesn’t strike me as someone ‘ameshika’ pages & is ‘spruced up’ like my friends the ‘bar heroes’ hence the ‘spurious’ hypothesis. The topic stays though. Why do men cheat? Here is why
Curiosity: Every cheating starts with a thought. From experience with other women you can know that Vera’s nice round derriere is cumbersome to handle in the sack or her ‘cereal box’ has the same taste of crunch and munch as the one you left at home but you still want to roam that terrain just to satisfy that curiosity you get every time she ‘pours’ it onto your twitter or Facebook. And at a certain age, probably your 20s, a man can be wildly avant-garde. Remember your college days? Yeah.
Character defect: you can find whatever character defect that you suffer from an A Anonymous Recovery manual. Some men though are ‘dry’ drunks. They exhibit x factors of a drunkard but are completely sober. Tabia mbaya tu! Greed, destructive behavior, deception… the list is endless. Some defects are as a result of a nagging wife always calling your phone and turning you into an unnecessary liar because the truth that you are irrigating your throat with the fellas gets you in trouble. Misplaced trust that it’s okay to do it because you are drunk. Alcohol addiction has therapy but don’t know if there’s something for character. Maybe if you just apply yourself you’ll kick it.
Long distance relationships: Fimbo ya mbali haiuwi nyoka. Distance is hard on any relationship. Strenuous to the point of breakup. 'Bamba 50' (and I'm not talking credit) can only sustain you for so long. A couple going through the motions and you both know it but neither one of you is brave enough to ‘free’ each other. A friend asked me once what love is and I told her it’s a free flowing energy. It comes and goes. It’s the comradery that keeps people together (In my experience
To defend their inferiority complex over women. I have not experienced this so I can’t speak to it. Douglas, share your story here
We want all and we want more than all: Men can never be satisfied. It’s known as the infamous wondering eye. Even if you get the perfect wife, you will still be searching. Going through comments on Miss Chege’s article, some give examples of women like Halley Berry being cheated on. Case in point?
‘Mouthing’: Emotional abuse, if I may call it that. She puts you down and talks down on you. Your neighbor and colleague buys a car and you haven’t. Suddenly he makes you look like a serious disappointment. “Mbona baba Nyiva amenunua na mulianza kazi pamoja?” Won’t you start paying attention to the mothering, secretary at your office?
So Njoki, there you have it, if he is curious, has a character defect, has an inferiority complex, never satisfied and has a wife mwenye anapenda ‘mouthing ’need I tell you more why he’s been sexting Monika Lewinsky?
