Dear young’un,
It’s me. Put down that Nintendo and crack a book once in a
while. Learn things, even if you’ll be a boyfriend jacket aficionado your future
depends on it. You’ll be glad to know that you didn’t turn into a statistic
though. If you think Nesquick parties and stealing WWF wrestling magazines (Triple
H will lose the sledgehammer and get a haircut BTW) from the supermarket is a gas wait till you discover
the contents of a certain brown bottle, a certain green bottle and a certain
clear bottle shared with friends, girls and the bar heroes at Lumte’s wazee’s
corner. Some of it is burning in my throat right now actually. Go easy on that stuff, you don’t want to be
writing ‘mwakenyas’ in 3rd year of college using braille. Rita has peaked,
you’ll meet her again in her 20s and she is a bit…uh, aesthetically challenged.
I hope that’ll be some consolation when she breaks your heart. Don’t invite her home! even when she uses her feminine wiles. That thing she does with her nose? yeah. Mom doesn’t play that
sleep over shit! Be good to mom and Mr. Dad. They lay down the law for your
good. The idea she put in your head that whatever happens to us, they’d be
there is true. Be nice to last born. That little rugrat is going to grow into
such a tyrant so chum with her while it lasts. Human beings are startlingly
honest at your age but as you grow older you’ll become an unnecessary liar
(& no, it’s not because you are a Member of Parliament). Check that
Big school will be fun apart from the garden variety
traumatic everybody experience of bullying in form one. Don’t be scared. Stop smacking
your sister’s head against the wall whenever you fight then buy her silence
with sweets. Yes, you will still be worrying about this in your twenties, there
was no long term damage (I think!). You're under the wrong impression that girls don't eat as much as us or smell.
I’m writing from the year 2014. You’ll be disappointed to
know it isn’t exactly the Jetsons but its several standard deviations beyond cool.
Television is in color now and there’s this contraption called the internet
where you can find anything. That’s where I’ll leave this letter for you. The
phone fits in your pocket now. It’s called mobiles or the three in one mobile phone. Nintendo is a brick game compared to PlayStation. It doesn't even begin to cover it. You probably think I'm lying so you'll just have to wait and see. Life is simple. Enjoy it because it will seem more and more like a Chinese puzzle as you get older.
Age may not necessarily give you wisdom but it gives
perspective. You may not be able to understand this but I’m I don’t know any
way to dumb it down for your age. Over the couple of years since your time, I
have looked as honestly into myself as I could have, found much that was not to
my taste, found a little that was just plain bad but a lot that fits into what
I want your future to look like. I hope it will make sense. Work in Progress,
bro. Work in Progress.
One last thing. Move to Customs sooner, she’s there. You’ll
know her when you see her
Yours Sincerely,
20 something year old self
