Writing has always been a way for me to fill up a slow
weekend. A conduit for my feelings, ideas and experiences. A place to let my
ideas sit naked.
It’s been a spell since I’ve typed anything so either my ideas found some pants
or I’m not measuring up to the reasonable expectations of a writer (and we all
know how size
mattersJ
Well, statistically I’m only slightly above average but what I lack in size I
try to make up for it with enthusiasm and red bull) Feel free to take time to
admire the wit of the latter euphemism. Hey, what do you know? I still have itJ
Following this realization, I could really use a ‘pick me
up’ and I’m not talking coffee. The weekend is here so here goes, let me try
and fill her up (Yeah, couldn’t resist one moreJ)
Open laptop, slam back a beer and type… So the following happened while I was
offline and some thoughts I have
I moved jobs. No sleeping like a koala bear anymore. Those
lucky sloths!
The new girl at the office rides a motor cycle to work (boy
do I want to polish her helmet). She’s a knock out! And I bet that’s her real
hair color. Too subtle? For some reason I imagined our conversation going
something like
Me: “How do you like it here so far?”
New girl: “Bite me”
(Oh I wish I could). Turns out she’s nice. Very pleasant.
House of cards season 3 is out. Binge watched it last night.
The trick is to leave the door ajar during toilet breaks and pee on the
porcelain part of bowl to reduce ‘stream’ noise. Turn up the volume. You won’t
miss a thing. Or just pause the DVD
Hannibal Lector should order some Chinese from that racist
restaurant in Kilimani. It’s slim pickings there (I really hope you guys get
these jokes)
The ‘big’ fella made public a list that incriminates half of
the country and some retirees. That’s a hell of a move, sir. In the words of
Harvey, ‘did you sit down with some chimpanzees and a bucket of crack and come
up with that?’ Bold.
In an effort to jack my neighbor for her panties I have
inadvertently learnt how to cook. And I use the term cautiously because the
jury is still out. I suppose we’ll find out soon enough if the meal gets to dessertJ. Besides, she’s a
nester so if it works she’ll make a nest at my place and be the one cooking for
me.
Commercial Break
There
are no thought provoking sojourns into the realm of unfettered spirit in this
blog. You will only find cheap jokes that I try to sneak in through food
reference sexual puns and the occasional use of the words ‘fill up’. Only on paper
though. I still have to kiss my mother with this mouth so I limit these
references to writing. So read a book instead if you want to learn something.
It has been a while since I hit the bottle. Today’s ‘pick me
up’ is the first so no throwing up therefore apart from doing the horizontal
hoorah, I haven’t been losing any bodily fluids. I look and feel healthier. I
hope I am. But if blood flow is anything to go by I think I am ;-). Thought I’d
be firm about staying away from alcohol. There would be no wiggle room. But who
was I kidding?
Got a chance to visit Nanyuki for work. It’s kind of like
small England over there. White people everywhere and shit weather. Even the
hotels call breakfast ‘full’ and ‘half’ English.
I am surrounded by so many people yet I am profoundly
lonely. This recently changed when I ran into a certain lass the other day.
It’s a gas how we can be stupid together. She hasn’t returned my 20 calls in
the last three days. That’s just mean, though, I think that speaks more to my
character flaws than hers. Maybe I have a stalker potential.
