fly nigga rules

1.No BitchAssNess.
2.Don't Hate for no reason.Jealousy is a female trait
3.Don't have no scuff marks on yo' sneaker
4.Clean nice and smell good(cinnamon always works for yo' breath/not all women like mint)
5.eat yo' vegetables.. aha!
.....to be continued

mind "f"ing women

Like anyone would tell you ,no one understands women.women are the greatest mind fuckers.If you don't know what mind "f"ing is let me enlighten you.Mind fucking(god this is so much cursing I need to start rating this blog) is being in control of a situation that the other person doesnt realise that you're in control of and they never really realise you were in control of.A woman will tell you that she  wanna hang then she move to another country or summin'(he he! well maybe not move to another country but still..) I remember when i was a kid and I'd always weasel my way out of going to church, like that boy from the OMO detergent infomercial who pours  ketchup on his school shirts so that he wouldn't have any to wear in the morning "ketchup, chocolate"( who are we kidding?!my mom would beat my ass and I'd still wear the stained shirt to school).My sisters would go(they were littler,they had no choice) but they came back holding empty ice cream cups and pizza boxes.I swear that was so deliberate, what do you think??So the next Sabbath I decide to go but we only come back sucking on Chupa Chups.."Instead o pizza this week, I'll take ya'll to buy toys next weekend, that ok?" That was mind "f"ing:101 I just didn't know it yet.........>fast forward to present, mind "f"ing 313 and I still haven't learnt my lesson.

call 1-800 choke a hoe

I need this hotline on redial! ever sat next to a buncha women/girls telling mean-spirited jokes about others(I do that too/now i don't know why I'm writing this).Powdering their faces that look like they'v just shit a gerb plus a kebab at once.ok ok,yea,you used to be college candy but that was up until every dick on campus stuck inside you.This just feels so angry...fuck!!

when I was younger

When I was younger, I remember two drops of rain moving down the window and pretending it was a race,I remember sticking gum under the chair(I still do that),when I was younger I remember filling my pockets with rice and show my mom the clean plate"Good boy".I remember hitting the girl I had a crash on with my tie (i could have just said hi) #Sheryl ni wewe.when i was younger I remember cutting class so that i could go ride the lift at YAYA center,what do you remember doing when you were younger?

never leave the bathroom door open even when you think you alone

too embarrassed to write this one

morning breath

i love kisses, but when i wake up i don't want to share my morning breath with anyone.I don't want you to share your breath with me!She always wanted to kiss me 'good morning' but when i gave her lip,she'd give tongue back so i made her sleep with gum soaking under her tongue & ever since I always want to wake up to morning breath

morning breath

i love kisses, but when i wake up i don't want to share my morning breath with anyone.I don't want you to share your breath with me!She always wanted to kiss me 'good morning' but when i gave her lip,she'd give tongue back so i made her sleep with gum soaking under her tongue & ever since I always want to wake up to morning breath

Hey send me a pic ;) Girl: Ok...promise you won't show any one? Boy: I promise I won't.. Friends: DAAAAAMNNN!

yes,most o ya'll have done this.Women! never make sex tapes or let yo' boyfriends take nude photos o you(although I'm a fan o Kim Kard and Ray J's work)I almost did it yesternight,but in my defence she's a radio presenter(yep!!she came with the body too,sio voice pekee!!)still,it's the worst thing you could do#WORST
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the simpler times

when we didn't know what cholesterol was,when there was one computer in the whole school & only the nerds or the creepy teacher & the one with no wife were the ones that could use it.When windows were something you look out of & an apple grew on a tree and the weed was something you took on the tree, Simpler times when i didnt have an i pod with30 000 songs ,I had a nintendo that i had to blow on the cartridge to get it to work,when everyone over 30 was ugly,there were no milfs or cougars just chicken heads,when a 4 hour erection wasnt a side effect it was something to be proud of...ahhhh the simpler times.Get a beer and reminisce on the simpler times

bop 101

jock me