So umm, the weekend is here!
mpango?” Now, naturally no one wants to hear of Miko’s ‘mpangos’ and if
you knew him, you wouldn’t either.
He goes on… “Vicky
ako tao, NSC- Nakuru Sports Center- and she can get us in.” NSC was the venue
for Prinsloo rugby tournament going down that weekend. When the weekend gets
here, like any self-loving campus student, one wants to go into town and have
fun(swill a few pints, dance ,jishindia fried tubers) and the rugby
tournament with after party in the evening
sounded like one helluva weekend
( not to
mention that we didn’t have a dime…well, I didn’t on that day and everyone
knows Miko NEVER has cash)
“Hatuna kakitu Miko, tutaendaje?” I asked …. “Si nimekushow
Vicky ako town? Get this she’s selling at the food tents, and- are you ready
for this?- she says she can get us in plus food and drinks are on her!”(Miko
hajui ngoso, the convo is for narrative purpose) I knew better than to trust
him so I told him to call Vicky to confirm. She confirmed and said she was expecting
us. That call earned Miko serious cookie points and obviously I was totally
convinced.
It was already evening. Quick shower, kidogo spray on, got
all buttered and fitted – Hakuna kuparara. I was excited about chugging down a
few Tuskers and getting into some serious necking with those rugby cheering
lasses who look like video vixens kwa ngoma za Young Money. Passing guys on our
way out I’m like “ Get a load of this guy- haudundi?_?
I love this froth. wa!
alafu Guava lounge baadaye
Got a matatu and 20 min later we are in town with a couple
of other mates. We had Kes 500 between us so we decided to stash away Kes 100
for javing back to school and the rest we bought ‘spiro” to ‘changamka’ before
we walk to NSC (Yeup! Walk…hakuna pesa ya tuk tuk sasa)
We get to the entrance and Miko is trying to call up Vicky,
the next thing we know we are handcuffed..whaaaat!! the police. Are you
frigging kidding me?!! Everyone around runs for dear life. How convenient that
they caught only the two of us. The embarrassment from folks at the gate
staring, woi! Just my luck. The police
now have to chase after the others and leave us
You guessed it, we made a ran
for it. I dunno what came over us, that was a half-moron idea. After 5 minutes
of running, a ‘boda’ pulls in front of us and a policeman sticks a gun in our
faces. I almost pissed myself “mngekula
risasi….mnatoroka na pingu?! Kwanza lipeni ‘boda’ tumetumia” and I had to chuck
the only 100 bob we had. The second we were caught, I took off my glasses since
I knew we were obviously going to get a beat down(I watch the news like
everyone so..)
Rodney King got off light, we got ‘bares’ like you’d think
we had cancer and a slap was the cure. Miko overheard one of them talk in Kalenjin(or so he told me) " Ongea nao kale watuwachilie/nimeskia mmoja akisema 'kaleiii, kage'" I open my mouth to beg for mercy in Kalenjin and the next thing I know I'm picking grass from my tongue and my ears are ringing...
Since we tried to ran, we couldn’t even try to negotiate.We sat by a tree under guard as some other chaps were being rounded up to join us. We
spent the night at Central Police Station. To add salt to injury, NSC is just a
few meters away and we could hear the music from our cell. If you’ve never been
to a cell before, it is not for the faint heart. Big fat FUCK you Miko! (I miss
that doofus)
Inside cells is another story for another day. After making calls we
finally got out the next day smelling like we had crawled out the ass of a cow and someone stole one of my shoes in there so I had to buy' rubbers' tukitoka.
PS: My mother insisted that we double up for the Big Brother
auditions. Clearly she has never watched an episode of that show. I would rather
show up naked than cart along my mom to BBA. Jackson Makini has a got shot at the money. Let the chap at it
